Tag Archives: confidence

Milestones

Recently, I’ve felt as though my life has come to stagnant halt. My days have become boring and nothing more than monotonous, repetitive routine of doing nothing but sitting in bed all day and wasting time on the internet. After graduating college, I thought my life was going to be exciting. I had my degree in one hand and great plans in the other and I was quick to look for jobs, eager to start my career in Graphic Design. A few years down the line, mainly two, and here I am, a 24-year-old girl stuck at home with nothing to do but dream of plans and projects and a bright future absent the confidence and motivation to take charge and make things happen for herself.

When did I become this person? How did I become this person? All my life I’ve been dependent on someone to do things for me and it turned me into this lazy, self-conscious person with no real social skills to speak of. Maybe I’m being too harsh on myself but sometimes discovering the truth is usually harsh and difficult to accept. After a year of working with someone who I felt was constantly pushing me down, I realized how much of a push over I really was. I allowed a person to walk all over me, to silence my voice and impede my growth and progress but then I stood up and decided that enough was enough.

You know how they say about each ending marking a new beginning? The next few months after I left my magazine, what felt like the only major thing I’ll ever be a part of or create, life slowed down to a near stop. My days grew boring and time was wasting. I felt myself withering away into nothing until an opportunity presented itself. My younger brother was planning to go to Japan to study but instead he switched to the USA and I realized that I can go with him. I can go to graduate school. So, I started researching the matter, my other brother was already there attending VCU and my sister was going to UVA so why shouldn’t I get the chance to go to? My heart raced with the growing excitement and increased nervousness. The prospect of going to another country, to a different culture, to a place that is usually afraid of people like me, is frightening. All the stories I’ve heard, the stuff in the news, one could only imagine what’s going on in my mind!

At the same time I’m excited about the adventures and the new experiences and about the many people I’m going to meet and the many friends I hope to make! I want to relearn my craft, to delve into its depths and learn all its secrets! I want to rekindle the lost passion and love that I had for Design! I want to break out of my shell and learn new things. I want to use my new-found knowledge and confidence to make my projects come to life. I’m excited about this and nervous. I don’t want to have monotonous days with reoccurring routines of me staying in bed all day and dilly dallying on the internet.

I want to do something with my life, I want to be someone and take charge! so this is the start of my journey. A new milestone.